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What parents need to know about selective mutism

Sunrise Psychology

by Joyce Li, Ph.D., C.Psych.

Posted: August 19, 2022

Selective mutism is an anxiety disorder diagnosed in childhood. Kids with selective mutism talk in some situations (such as home) and not in others (such as school). Kids with selective mutism may actually be quite talkative at home (parents describe them as chatterboxes and firecrackers, bursting with humour and personality!), while they do not speak to some or all individuals in other settings, like school, summer camp or extracurricular activities. One typical example is a child who speaks completely comfortably with family members at home and with close friends at school, but not to teachers or other adults in the community.

Here are nine things parents should know about selective mutism.

  1. Selective mutism usually appears before the age of 5. Parents and caregivers tend to decide to seek help after their child starts school and difficulties become apparent.

  2. Selective mutism is diagnosed if difficulties continue for more than one month (other than the first month of school), and if the difficulties speaking are not better explained by something else. A mental health professional can conduct a thorough assessment to determine if a diagnosis of selective mutism is appropriate.

  3. Selective mutism is related to anxiety; it’s not kids being stubborn or defiant. Kids with selective mutism describe feeling scared, overwhelmed, or frozen in certain speaking situations.

  4. Selective mutism is treatable. Research suggests that behavioural therapies (including cognitive-behavioural therapy) are the most effective at treating selective mutism. In this treatment, children learn how to gradually face different speaking situations and cope with anxiety.

  5. Parents, school staff, and others are actively involved in treatment for selective mutism. Parents, teachers, and others are key participants in treating selective mutism, providing opportunities and encouraging the child to speak in real-world situations.

  6. Early intervention is important. Though adolescents with selective mutism can experience treatment success, research findings suggest that treatment is most effective with younger children.

  7. It’s worthwhile to treat selective mutism. Well-meaning adults who are unfamiliar with selective mutism might suggest that you “wait and see” and to let your child “grow out of it”. However, we know that selective mutism can significantly impact children’s lives, causing unnecessary distress and interfering in activities. Children are better able to enjoy school (and other settings), form stronger relationships, and are safer when they are able to express themselves fully.

  8. Selective mutism treatment can be empowering. In treatment, kids with SM develop the confidence to speak in new situations, step by step. As a psychologist, it is a joy to watch kids as they build their courage, develop pride in their ability to tackle challenges, and start sharing their amazing personalities with others!

  9. Selective mutism treatment can be fun! An effective therapist will be able to connect with and motivate your child to engage fully in the process. In my experience, the selective mutism treatment journey is always filled with a lot of creativity, play, and laughter. 

If you are a parent wondering whether your child has selective mutism or are looking for support, we recommend speaking to your pediatrician/family doctor or a child psychologist, speech-language pathologist, or other mental health professional with experience in this area.

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